InterviewsPath of Love

Q: The Path of Love process just recently happened in Poona and in Byron Bay, Australia and I heard glowing reports from participants in both of them. What is it about the Path of Love that people seem to be so enthusiastic about?

Rafia: Well I have a lot of theories about it and I am certainly happy about it but I guess the true answer is that the process just works. By that I mean that in a very simple way it brings people to a depth and recognition of themselves that is the fulfillment of a deep longing we all seem to have. It also clears out a lot of old emotional baggage and identifications that we unconsciously cling to. It opens us to our depths in a very particular way that is unlike any other therapeutic or spiritual work that I know of and it provides an on-going way to continue to look at yourself and life with.



Q: I know the actual process is a secret but can you say something about what happens in there?

Rafia: Yes of course, POL works directly with our longing to realize Truth, to be Free or in union with God, to realize ourselves as Divine, to know the Truth. It makes no difference which words we use; the spiritual longing, the urge to wake up, to be the Buddha we are, the yearning to realize our potential or recognize who we already are is there at the heart of every seeker. So in the process we activate and support that longingÖwe uncover it from resignation, unworthiness, our cynical minds, the feeling of disappointment etc and make it the most important thing, the most precious thing we have. When that longing is activated it is like a tuning fork for Truth and it leads us into direct confrontation with those places inside us that have closed off in mistrust towards Life. We then have the opportunity to bring those places out into the open and see through the illusion of the separation those places cause.

So there is the longing, active and honoredÖthen we give people a few keys to apply to their work, I will tell you one that is important. We tell people to really look at their lives through the understanding that ìall the barriers are on my side.î What that means then is that in all the situations where I am feeling and experiencing separation the barriers to my freedom, to my love, to my peace of mind are mineÖall of them. It leaves no place for being a victim and puts the full responsibility on the individual. Now this in itself is huge. Consider this: my spiritual longing which has as its very nature the impetus or function to guide me to freedom is of course then bringing me to where I have to confront and to look at all those places where I have erected monuments to my mistrust, those places from which I am identified and can gather information to support my view and position almost effortlessly. We all have those places that are based on real things that happened: its like a pair of glasses we can put on whenever we want that allow us to see the world in a particular way that supports our position. We donít make people wrong for their view but we do support them to look a little deeper and see if this position is bringing them the happiness and love they are longing for or is it keeping them locked in the pain of separation.

Basically that process just keeps on going throughout the group in different ways until people are very open and in recognition of something inside that is much deeper than their usual personality. You could call it the Being I suppose. It is a kind of satori experience and often is a real breakthrough in how people live their lives.



Q: I have heard you have a large staff in the roomÖwhatís their function?

Rafia: Yes we do often have a large staff. Usually it is around 35 but we have even had 90 once - which was quite a challenge to co-ordinate believe me!

The staff functions like one body in all the practical aspects of taking care and of holding a space to best of our ability of unconditional love. The staff is and provides the container and creates the atmosphere for lot of the magic that happens. Sometimes, at the beginning of the process people are a bit daunted by all of these staff people in there but after a while they come to see that they are being loved in a way that most of us have never felt before.

And people love to staff as we go through a kind of parallel process with the participants as being in unconditional love is quite a strong meditation. So we do our work in their too. We have particular meditations we do, one of which is: all the barriers to unconditional love are on my sideÖso if I am in separation then what is it about me? We all love to be in that place of openness and non-separation and so there is a great longing in all of us on the staff.



Q: Is POL only for people who are in a life crisis or can you do the group anytime?

Rafia: Well you could say we are all in a life crisis in the sense of waking up, so we bring that urgency into the process from the first moment. I know what you mean though and the answer is no. You don't have to be starting with a big problem or be in a crisis... no, not at all.

The POL is really about looking at those places where repeatedly find ourselves in the pain of separation. The longing is to experience the state of Oneness, which is non-separation.

We all have our places where we long to expand more, to realize more of our potential so no matter how evolved you may be there always seems to be something important to look at.



Q: How would I know if at this point in my life it's the right thing or not to do?

Rafia: Well, we help with that by giving an interview if its needed or asked for, and in that we try and see if it is the right time. Usually though, its just a feeling that comes in your heart or belly or a persistent thought in your mind that tells you it's one of those times in life to take a deep look inside. In my case, I had no intention to do it, and then one day I just knew it was time to clean up. I was in a deep spiritual resignation at the time. I had developed an identity inside the community that on one level was working fine but underneath I was very discontent and quite lost. I really didnít want to do this processÖI was really resistant. But then I saw, that if I was really honest, the only reason I wouldn't do it was because I was too afraid. So I took a big breath and jumped in and my life really has not been the same since!



Q: You make POL sound so ideal that I must say I am a little suspicious? Is it your experience that the POL is beneficial for everyone?

Rafia: Yes I understand it might sound a little too good to be true. I canít say this work is for everyone. There are many ways for people to open up. This is just one way. We often have people that are basically oriented towards sitting meditation come and do the group. I believe they all feel they have benefited and take some enrichment and clarity back to their watching practice. I certainly hope they go back to it with renewed enthusiasm and inspiration. What people get from POL is very subjective of course. For some people it's just a big emotional clean out and is like deep therapy. For many it's a reawakening of a certain commitment to go all the way that we made when we took sannyas or started a spiritual journey ó you could call it a remembrance. For some its really a spiritual breakthrough and provides a way of meditating that works for them in an on-going way. I don't want to create any illusions though that might come from this name Path Of Love which sounds kind of flowery. People come through into beautiful inner spaces but they really face themselves along the way, their ego structures and illusions, in a very direct way. Have no doubt about it, it is a very intense process.



Q: Do I have to have any prerequisites or is it for anyone?

Rafia: There are no specific prerequisites and we do occasionally take people who have no previous spiritual or therapeutic work, however it is helpful to have some group or meditation experience. I always feel those people who have done some work have a much better chance to integrate, contain and understand the opening they have in the group.



Q: How is it in your life to be so involved in this intense process?

Rafia: Intense is the right word! I experience it like a blessing though as I get to come together with people in all aspects of this work where they are at their very most sincere and open. Along the way though, wow! I often feel I am often in the frying pan. I feel that just by leading this process and using a lot of big words like "Unconditional Love" for example, Existence quite rightly puts me into positions where I really have to look at all of my conditions to love. Its kind a like "OK, you talk the talk, now walk the walk". The perspective, understanding and method of this work are very core, at this point, to how I try to live my life.



Q: You have been leading the POL for almost 9 years now, how do you feel it changing and evolving?

Rafia: Well it does evolve and change as a reflection of our own evolution and changes but the basic structure of the process will most likely remain the same as it is frankly just too brilliant to change much. The sequence of events that happen in there are all so intelligently arranged and compliment each other so well that though we will always be able to refine it this way and polish it in that way, the essence of it will remain the same.



Q: Where do you see the future of POL going?

Rafia: Thatís a big question that I am asking myself all the time.

Turiya and I are looking at ways to train other people to lead it so that it can happen more frequently and in many new places. It takes a lot of preparation to get a POL to happen as well as having enough people to staff it that are available and ready to give so generously of their time. Its not the easiest process to set up and get going on the standard we want it to always happen on and yet the longing to expand is there. I would love it though if we could have some more facilitators trained so that more people can have the opportunity to go through the process. We recently had an invitation where we were considering to do one in Israel with half Palestinians and half IsraelisÖthe proposal didnít work out but it was intriguing.

Imagine: ìAll the barriers to are on your sideî applied to a situation where there is so much hate and violence happening.

For Group Description[click here]
For Schedule [click here]

top